"Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment—not discouragement—you will find the strength there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege!! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures, followed by wreckage, were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes." -Joseph Campbell
It is the middle of October, 2009. I arrived in Dallas on July 22, 2008. Now sitting here on the brink of what could be my second autumn in Texas, I reflect deeply on the last year and three months of my life. I realize this has been perhaps the strangest year of my life. It was filled with every possible emotion that could be felt. The cycle that first began with anger and intense sadness waned and, over time, gave way to incredible growth, personal reflection, happiness, leaps of faith, contentment, adventure, love, joy and awareness. Through that storm I weathered, I have come back stronger with an even better sense of self than I ever thought I could have. I did not run and hide away from the pain; I faced it and chose to search through all of it as if it were rubble lying before me. A year and three months later after the clean-up, I see things clearer and my inner voice is louder than it’s ever been. I have learned better who I am; I have learned to be still, wait for the moment and when it’s right, I will know. I’ve learned that I am on my right path when everything falls into place in perfect harmony. I have learned that the people closest to me and valuable relationships are the most important assets of my life.
It’s true, even amidst the deaths of a best friend, my aunt and then my grandfather in such a short time, my last year feels more like 3 years. The growth and evolution of my soul feels like it has been subjected to intense hydroponics and here I am, forced to take in all of life’s nutrients and grow towards the light.
This year has been truly incredible.
I have loved stronger than I ever have before. I have let go more than I ever thought I could. I have traveled more and farther than I thought I would. I have stood inside enormous cathedrals and meditated on life, rituals and humanity. I visited places in honor of my loved ones who were not present in this life to see it with their own eyes. I challenged myself more. And I have smiled more than I thought I ever could. I learned contentment, acceptance and found the beauty in my surroundings rather than focus on the negative. I realized my only agenda in life is to love, share, follow my bliss, create passionately and continue seeking whatever gives me peace and happiness.
“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.”
