The Four Agreements

During our early life we began making agreements. Our parents rewarded us when we did what they wanted and they punished us when we didn’t. We also learned behaviors and habits in school, church, and from other adults and children on the playground. The tools of reward and punishment were often emotional and sometimes physical. The impact of other people’s opinions and reactions to us became a very strong force in the habits we created. In this process we created agreements in our mind of who we should be, what we shouldn’t be, who we were, and who we were not. Over time we learned to live our life based on the agreements in our own mind. We learned to live according to the agreements that came from the opinion of others. In this process of domestication it turns out that the choices we make and the life we live is more driven by the opinions we learned from others than one we would choose on our own.


The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.


As you begin living these four practices, your life will dramatically change. In the beginning these new habits will be challenging and you will lapse countless times. With practice these agreements become integrated into your being and every area of your life and become easy habits to keep.

Staying in the feeling of love and wellness

"You must decide to stay in the feeling of love, prosperity, wellness, or whatever you desire, and let that feeling just flow through you. And remember that you get what you think about, whether you want it or not." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

This statement is just what I needed today. Actually, what I’ve needed for much of the last few weeks. I feel like I have lost me, lost my enthusiasm, my undying optimism that makes me feel like I can move mountains. My zest for life has become slightly wilted and I’m left wondering “what’s next”? I find myself searching through Craigslist ads as if the key to my Kingdom exists there. Perhaps in a new job, a new cottage by the beach, Durango. Somewhere, anywhere but here. What am I searching for? Perhaps it’s nothing tangible at all. Maybe just peace of mind. Clarity. My happiness and sensibility.
And then I’m reminded by Dr. Dyer that my thoughts, my life and dissatisfaction are what cause my recent perpetual state of funk. I do not want to give any energy to negative thoughts or feelings but how do I throw away the road blocks? How do I stay in the feeling of love and prosperity if I feel like I’m rowing a boat upstream? I need to be able to accept me, to embrace the fact that I am who I am. I live and breathe for creativity, dreams, goals, philosophy, adventure and spirituality. I cannot surround myself with people who do not share my energy, or at the very least understand it. Sometimes I think I’m too complicated but maybe I am not so hard to understand after all. Or maybe I should just give myself permission to be complicated. Maybe I can only row upstream for so long before realizing that I’m going about it all wrong. Perhaps I am not so weird but the life I am trying to fit in this "box" is ass-backwards.