Gratitude.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

How often are we so concerned about the few things in life that we feel we lack, that we forget so many things that we DO have. Look at your wonderful friends, your home, your full pantry, your job. So perhaps you feel as though it isn't a great job, but it gives you money. So many people are out of work, some stand in lines for free bags of food. But they are probably so grateful for these bags of food. I was in their shoes once. When I was a child, my mother and I went through hard times a lot. I have experienced, many times, the feeling of being "without". But the truth is, when we have what we need, we are not without. What we are feeling is a socially conditioned, media and market-driven idea that we have to have more in order to matter. We always matter, though, regardless of our current financial or social state. We have to love ourselves unconditionally and always, always show gratitude for what we have. Appreciate the functionality of our 6 senses, of our hands and feet- truly!
Appreciate a sound mind, a warm home, electricity, running water, a car or a bike. Realize that you do have everything you need, and probably many things that you want..and be grateful. Smile, knowing that like the plants, birds and animals, the universe has taken care of you, too. :)

I wish everyone a new year filled with gratitude.
Happiness in 2011.

every mind lives in his own world

"In a cinema hall, you look at the screen, you never look at the back - the projector is at the back. The film is not there really on the screen; it is just a projection of shadow and light. The film exists just at the back, but you never look at that. And the projector is there. Your mind is at the back of the whole thing, and the mind is the projector. But you always look at the other, because the other is the screen. When you are in love the person seems beautiful, no comparison. When you hate, the same person seems the ugliest, and you never become aware of how the same person can be the ugliest and the same person can be the most beautiful. So the only way to reach to truth is to learn how to be immediate in your vision, how to drop the help of the mind. This agency of the mind is the problem, because mind can create only dreams. Through your excitement the dream starts looking like reality. If you are too excited then you are intoxicated, then you are not in your senses. Then whatsoever you see is just your projection. And there are as many worlds as there are minds, because every mind lives in his own world". -Osho

Osho describes it well. We have said for decades that "love is blind". Perhaps it is sometimes, but I prefer to think that real love is not blind but forgiving. I also agree with Osho in that often times, we want something so much that we create it. Our minds wander and dream and project our desires onto a person that may or may not be the image that exists, but what our mind wants to see. We create an image, expectation. It is important for us to be mindful and aware of what we are really seeing and not what we want to see. We must remember to be completely honest with ourselves in order to see and feel what really is.

It's the end of 2010, as we know it

"Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past".-Henry Ward Beecher


In a few more days, 2010 will be like dust clouds in the rear view mirror of my metaphorical 1969 Mustang fastback. I'm not at all misty-eyed about it. I'm glad to see it go and I pray to the gods that be that the next year is a prosperous one for all of us. 2010 was like a regurgitated version of 2009 in every way for me. Lost job, lack of job, lost relationship, still in Dallas, still spinning wheels, still broke. But there was a lot of good, too. The universe pushed me into my pit twice to make sure I learned it. I learned. It didn't feel good, but I finally got it.

My birthday came and went. I was sick with a cold, as I still am. But it was a good day. I relaxed, and did what I love to do in my free time: bake. It was a carrot cake from the box, only, this one promised to taste like it was "home made". It turned out to be a very dense cake, quite good. But the icing left much to be desired. Next time, I'm making my own icing from scratch. This love of baking has brought me to other ideas, perhaps ones that won't pan out but at least the wheels are still turning for ideas. This lets me know that I have not given up. There is still a light on in the lighthouse.

This time of year is strange for me. I ponder the past, realize I'm a year older, wonder "where am I today? Am I any better off"? I guess that's the ever-climbing goat in me. Always looking ahead, always trying to do more, be better. But I want to make sure I don't allow the seemingly bad experiences to overshadow all that was won, all that was really, truly good. I learned so much in 2010. I finally took a chance and opened my own studio, which I love spending time in. It brings me peace, quiet and focus, all of which has been missing and so desperately needed in my life. I began playing the guitar again. I started my own jean line with a factory and Mockingbird Denim is due to launch in January. That is really huge. It's something that I thought would always be just a dream. I had really hoped it would work out but I never believed it would pan out as flawlessly as it did. I feel grateful for the opportunity.

I feel really thankful for my friends and family too. I am surrounded by beautiful people, brilliant minds, hands full of creative talents, love. I really have nothing to mourn for 2010. And I hope everyone will take a moment to remember all of the good they can take from this past year into the new year. We all have a pretty long list, if we just think about it.

2011 is a story just waiting to be written. A blank canvas just waiting to be painted. An empty shop waiting to be opened, fabric waiting to be sewn into a beautiful dress, a vacation to Scotland waiting to be explored. Or for you, a project to unfold, a screenplay that will be completed, a house to be purchased, a child to bring into the world. Whatever it is in your life, look ahead, see how far you've come and be excited for the things ahead. I have learned that there is no energy to be spent on the past. It's over. The future is where all the fun is.

Change Forces Change

Re-sharing. This one is taken from the original blog I wrote on: Sunday, December 02, 2007

What would our lives be like if we were still doing the same thing we did when we were in High School? No doubt some of us actually know a person who is still "exactly the same" and still doing the same things they did in high school or college. Same job, same habits, behaving the same way. And it is likely that we feel a bit of frustration and/or sympathy for them as well. Obviously, they have a hard time letting go of the past or lack the courage to move forward in their lives. Perhaps they are "stuck". Fear is an unnecessary but powerful force. It can prevent us from making positive, life changing decisions in our lives. Fear of facing the music. It's what keeps us from taking those risks that we need to take in order to grow. My mother is still doing the same thing she has always done, with no results. She has expected change to come knocking on her door in the form of Ed McMahon from Publisher's Clearing House. Guess what? It's not going to happen. You have got to be more proactive, you have got to put your silly fears aside and start living. I mean really start living. Change what you're doing if you aren't seeing any results.

Change forces change.

It may be something as simple as a slight adjustment, a career move or as drastic as moving to Paris to study fashion. Either way, just do it. Nobody ever got anywhere by not taking risks and challenging themselves. Could you imagine where our world and technology would be today if we never had risk takers? The Wright Brothers would have never flown; Electricity would not have been discovered, Harry Potter would still just be a single mothers' dream.
Nothing is going to change unless you throw a wrench into your life and mix things up a bit. So, what would you do if you weren't afraid?

The Winter Solstice and the Closing of 2010

Tonight begins the Winter Solstice with a lunar eclipse. Astrologically, the Winter Solstice has been viewed as a time of great energy, change, reflection and a moment when everything is visible. This is a turning point for all of us, when everything comes to the surface and materializes, whether positive or negative: Jobs, relationships, ventures, ideas.
I have certainly seen this in my life as of late.

As with all of the other Decembers past, I watch another year and chapter of my life come to a close. A year gone, another year older. Bittersweet. The end of 2010 is going to be so welcomed. I look back on the last year and resolve to never let another year go by in so much disarray. Like the Josh Ritter song, “Don’t let me into this year with an empty heart.”. An empty heart for me means so many different things. And I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid that.

I think back and wonder if so much of 2010 was just wasted time. But again, is it really? I don’t know. I can’t help but think that all of our experiences, good or bad, mean something to us. But only if we’re paying attention. Without paying attention, our lessons are just labeled as “bad decisions”, “horrible experiences” or “failures.” I cannot kick myself too hard. The choices I made were with all of the best intentions. I always meant well and often times, I went beyond my breaking point for the sake of “not failing”. I learned that giving up an idea isn’t always a bad thing. 2010 was a year to learn more about who I am and especially what my limitations are. I became stronger. I was challenged. I was blessed. I learned the greater meaning of forgiveness, patience, compassion and honesty.

All is certainly not lost. I look forward to 2011 with greater clarity.

Forgive Everyone

"Revenge, anger, and hatred are exceedingly low energies that keep you from matching up with the attributes of the universal force. A simple thought of forgiveness toward anyone who might have angered you in the past will raise you to the level of Spirit and aid you in your individual intentions". Dr. Wayne Dyer

Let us not forget ourselves in that equation. We cannot forget to forgive ourselves. All too often, we kick ourselves way too hard and way too long for a "mistake" we made in the past when really, we need to understand that the lesson is the most important part of the experience, not the idea of whether we could have been a better human or not. Pay attention to the lesson, move forward, but never punish yourself for your choices.

Intro to Compassion

Compassion (from Latin: "co-suffering") is a virtue —one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy (for the suffering of others) are regarded as a part of love itself, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnectedness and humanism —foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood.

Compassion for others creates connectedness. When we can begin looking at everyone with more compassion, we then realize that we are all on this planet together. I think many people forget that the world doesn't revolve around them or their schedule. We all rise to the same sun and fall asleep under the same moon.

When we were kids, we were taught that strangers were to be feared, avoided, distrusted. "Don't talk to strangers" translated to "Strangers are bad". People aren't strangers to be avoided or faceless robots. They are single moms, someone's grandpa, a little girls' daddy, your new best friend, a lonely man without a home or a family, maybe an elderly woman who has to go back to work after she thought she had gotten to retire. Everyone is connected in some way. Everyone has a story, too. I really became aware of this in Los Angeles. In the vast array of people, I had to find a way to cope with the mass of traffic and crowds. I had to find a way to see this giant maze as something more personal. Even the simple act of letting someone in front of you at the grocery store who has less in their basket than you do is a first step in the right direction of compassion and understanding. If any of you have driven in a big city, we all know how frustrating it can be when other drivers don't let us in their lane, cut us off, etc merely out of principal. Dallas drivers are notorious for this kind of behavior. We have probably done this before, too. Don't allow yourself to do this. This behavior creates anger and only perpetuates the cycle. Again, we must remember, we are all in this crazy, beautiful, confusing, magnificent, cruel world together. Once we realize that everyone has that right, we won't feel so entitled to being the center of the universe.

Happiness 101

Don't wait for happiness until you have: A better job, more money, lose weight, buy a house, sell your house, a partner, graduate college, pay off debts, etc. It is always a good time to be happy. We can choose to be happy if we are open to change our perspective and heighten our awareness. Don't wait for happiness to be attached to a tangible thing or based on "progress". Happiness and joy are not attached to goals or things. Our lives are fleeting and we are gone in such a short time. Life is for enjoying in the now, not for climbing and searching for happiness in these cookie jars we've created.

The Glass is Already Broken.

"One day some people came to the master and asked: How can you be happy in a world of such impermanence, where you cannot protect your loved ones from harm, illness or death? The master held up a glass and said: Someone gave me this glass; It holds my water admirably and it glistens in the sunlight. I touch it and it rings! One day the wind may blow it off the shelf, or my elbow may knock it from the table. I know this glass is already broken, so I enjoy it -- incredibly". -Achaan Chah Subato

The thing with life is that, we are already gone before we've had enough time to get comfy. Everyone in our lives, whether here for a moment or for many years, should be cherished as if they are already gone. It's so easy to take others for granted but if we stop for a moment and become more aware of the delicacy of life and quickness of time, we can live better in the now and enjoy our people --incredibly.

Josh Ritter...again.

I've just found out that Josh Ritter is coming back to Dallas in February. I couldn't be more excited about this, especially since I thought I might have to shell out some major dough to see him in either DC or Philly in Feb. If you've never seen Josh Ritter or even heard of him, I encourage you to check out his music (especially if you are a fan of great folk sounds and excellent song writing). I was first introduced to their music in LA by a dear friend of mine who seems to have impeccable taste for music all around. At first, I was skeptical but Josh had me at "If this was the cold war we could keep each other warm..." I think it was the first time in my life I had been truly moved at a concert, not to mention a concert from a band I had never invested any real time listening to. He is by far in a league of his own. A best kept secret, a diamond in the rough. I am counting the days until accessibility to Josh and his band at such venues as the Granada Theater for $24 per ticket is obsolete.

Josh Ritter, at the Granada Theater in Dallas. Feb 28th, 2011. What a great way to begin 2011.

Your Inner Voice Offers The Best Advice

We have all found ourselves in sticky situations where it feels like it's going to be harder to walk away than we give ourselves credit for. It is in those moments when we need to let our body and mind go into "auto pilot" and just start walking. It takes a lot of guts to fully trust our instincts at times but I must tell you, that gut feeling is your other self, the self that is not attached to the feelings, the emotions, the fears. It is the voice of reason, the same voice we'd use to give a friend or family member advice. Don't argue with it or try to reason with it. Trust it. Don't think for even a second that you're making the wrong choice. Whenever you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, alarmed or whatever negative reaction you're experiencing, it is your natural, built-in defense mechanism that is urging you to move for your own safety, whether physical, mental or emotional. Moving away without fear is hard sometimes but you must trust that your best interests are in mind, even if they are coming from within. Nobody knows you better than yourself and nobody knows what you need, or don't need, better than you.