Tonight begins the Winter Solstice with a lunar eclipse. Astrologically, the Winter Solstice has been viewed as a time of great energy, change, reflection and a moment when everything is visible. This is a turning point for all of us, when everything comes to the surface and materializes, whether positive or negative: Jobs, relationships, ventures, ideas.
I have certainly seen this in my life as of late.
As with all of the other Decembers past, I watch another year and chapter of my life come to a close. A year gone, another year older. Bittersweet. The end of 2010 is going to be so welcomed. I look back on the last year and resolve to never let another year go by in so much disarray. Like the Josh Ritter song, “Don’t let me into this year with an empty heart.”. An empty heart for me means so many different things. And I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid that.
I think back and wonder if so much of 2010 was just wasted time. But again, is it really? I don’t know. I can’t help but think that all of our experiences, good or bad, mean something to us. But only if we’re paying attention. Without paying attention, our lessons are just labeled as “bad decisions”, “horrible experiences” or “failures.” I cannot kick myself too hard. The choices I made were with all of the best intentions. I always meant well and often times, I went beyond my breaking point for the sake of “not failing”. I learned that giving up an idea isn’t always a bad thing. 2010 was a year to learn more about who I am and especially what my limitations are. I became stronger. I was challenged. I was blessed. I learned the greater meaning of forgiveness, patience, compassion and honesty.
All is certainly not lost. I look forward to 2011 with greater clarity.
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