Denver is a little different, that’s for sure. The clouds seem closer, the air feels fresher. When I look out on the horizon, the majestic mountains are there to look back at me. I feel very connected to my self and to nature, and more of an observer to the people around me. I am mostly content. I don’t have much and I left a lot of things behind but I feel good. My apartments furnishings consist of an air mattress, a few dishes, some clothes and my laptop. I feel like a squatter but despite it all, I’m happy. :) Pickles is with me and I couldn't be more grateful for her enthusiastic companionship.
It’s definitely colder here, the wind is stronger and louder at times. I miss the warm Texas weather a lot. It will snow here and then the sun comes out a few hours later, followed by grey clouds again. I thought the weather in Texas was strange but I see Denver has it beat. Or maybe it’s just the springtime in Colorado.
I think about a lot of things these days. It's all I can do for now. I feel like a monk in silence most of the time. Mandatory meditation, if you will. I wonder if I will be here for a long time, perhaps the rest of my life. If I will ever go back to Texas or if I will ever want to go back. I think about what Texas will look and feel like after I’ve been here a while. Will I even recognize it. I also wonder why I am resisting this change so much. Me, the person who loves and embraces change, who trusts that no matter what, I am doing the right thing, is resisting this one. I feel the winds of change all around the place. Not just in my little world, but everywhere. And I feel it more and more and see it more these days than ever before.
There is something to be said about silence and solitude. It brings out a lot of thoughts, feelings, awareness and questions. It's amazing what we are able to feel without all of the distractions.
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