The Four Agreements

During our early life we began making agreements. Our parents rewarded us when we did what they wanted and they punished us when we didn’t. We also learned behaviors and habits in school, church, and from other adults and children on the playground. The tools of reward and punishment were often emotional and sometimes physical. The impact of other people’s opinions and reactions to us became a very strong force in the habits we created. In this process we created agreements in our mind of who we should be, what we shouldn’t be, who we were, and who we were not. Over time we learned to live our life based on the agreements in our own mind. We learned to live according to the agreements that came from the opinion of others. In this process of domestication it turns out that the choices we make and the life we live is more driven by the opinions we learned from others than one we would choose on our own.


The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.


As you begin living these four practices, your life will dramatically change. In the beginning these new habits will be challenging and you will lapse countless times. With practice these agreements become integrated into your being and every area of your life and become easy habits to keep.

Insomnia creeps in

Here lately, my nights have seemed to get longer, my eyes a little redder the next day. I’m not sure if it’s the deep repose of my former life or me feeling anxious for the things to come. I am unable to sleep and the sleep I do get consists of these recurring, epic dreams of heartbreak and loss. I wake up feeling as though I drank a whole bottle of wine the night before. Truth is, I’d be doing good to just be able to finish a whole glass with dinner. I miss eating good, hearty meals and laughing at a dinner table. I miss latin music and balmy summer nights. And I especially miss my fellow insomniac friend on nights (mornings) like this. When I went through these cycles, he was always up, just like me, to answer the phone and talk to until I got tired enough to fall asleep. He passed away two years ago in June. Now, on nights such as these, I am alone with just the quiet. And while that isn’t so bad most of the time because I can actually hear myself think, I lament the frequency of these quiet, lonely nights and wish for a time when I will at least have an option.
I desperately feel the need to travel now more than ever. I don’t know if it’s something I’m looking for so much as it is something I’m listening for. Maybe I just want to be alone with myself, to find comfort in the friend and voice inside of me, the one that knows me better than anyone, even as much as my insomniac friend who is no longer here to break the silence, to talk nonsense with me, encourage me until I feel peaceful enough to fall asleep.

Cambodia is for..Lovers? Well, not exactly, but...

Perhaps my Korean bath house experience stirred something inside of me regarding the Asian cultures, or maybe it was a conversation I had with a friend of mine who is from Cambodia, but for the last few days I have been soaking up all information I can find regarding Southeast Asia, namely, Cambodia. Agriculture has long been the most important sector to the Cambodian economy, with around 59% of the population relying on agriculture for their livelihood (with rice being the principal crop). Other important sectors include garments (yay for me!), construction and tourism - foreign visitors to Angkor Wat numbered more than 4 million in 2007.

The capital city, Phnom Penh has a population of about 2 million people but there are also cities and villages outside which are appealing to me as well. Not to mention the beautiful white sand beaches in Sihanoukville.

The idea of visiting somewhere totally different like Southeast Asia sounds like such an amazing adventure of perspective, humanity, spirit and self. I have also learned that it is very easy to live there in terms of actually living and working. So many places are available for staying but so few offer the living and working experience without a lengthy process of immigrations and visas. The cost of living is also really cheap ($250 per month rents with all bills included) and the costs of meals, appx. $2-$5 per day. Getting around is also a breeze. You can either hop on a tuk-tuk for $1 or rent your own scooter. For those who intend to stay longer, you can buy your own. I imagine myself on a scooter...minus the hospital scrubs, of course.

Then there is the realm of the gods at the mother of all temples, Angkor Wat, a spectacular fusion of symbolism, symmetry and spirituality. Angkor Wat was originally built as a Hindu temple but has long since been converted to a Buddhist temple.

Although Cambodia is not the first place one would think of for a vacation, let alone an extended stay, I think it could encompass all things for the person seeking a new opportunity, a project, a break, good food, good atmosphere, inexpensive accomodations and a warm, friendly environment. And although I have never been there to know for sure, something tells me it could be a place to fall in love with.

So, there. I leave you with a few photos and tidbits of Cambodia...the often less thought of country in Southeast Asia.

A Korean Bath House.. in Dallas.

Last night's adventure took me to King Spa & Sauna, a Korean bath house right in Dallas. I had set my sights on King Spa for almost a year when a friend of mine decided to celebrate her birthday there. For three weeks I waited in anticipation. I don't know if it was the quasi-nervousness of being naked around strangers in an unfamiliar place or the idea of the mental release of a hot salt room that appealed to me most. Perhaps it's a little like traveling. Anything that offers a new perspective, a chance to get outside my comfortable shell or a new cultural experience, I'm ready and willing.

When you first enter the spa you pay a 24 hour flat rate fee of $18 and get your locker key and a number. That number is your identity for the rest of your visit at the spa. I was #169. You then take an oversized pink spa shorts and top (no shoes past this point) Shoes are kept in a locker to the left and clothes and personal belongings are kept in a separate locker to the right. Disrobing is done in a communal locker room setting and the towels are only a hand-towel size. So, it's up to you to choose which part of yourself to cover up (if you must). You've got three areas, the towel only covers one! At this point, I looked at my friend, both of us stripped of all clothes and we are 'all out there'. All we could do was smile and say "Hello!" As domesticated humans, we never do this. Honestly, it was very freeing to be in my natural human state. It’s amazing how much you feel alive. There were a lot of different women: Korean, white, European, old, young, fat, skinny, it didn't matter. No one's really looking. But the Korean women wash and scrub for an hour and they scrub each others' backs. I thought it very nurturing and from a loving, almost sacramental place. Not an ounce of weird taboo anywhere in the room. Here in America, I like to call us the land of Puritanism and prudery. Somewhere we learn to be ashamed of our naked bodies. The truth is, of course there is a time to be modest but there is a time for cleansing, not only of the body, but also of the mind. And in that state, there is no room for shame or guilt or hiding. It is the time to renew, refresh and connect with each other, ourselves. It’s a moment in our lives when we are stripped of everything, and we begin to really feel connected to self and to embrace our “nakedness” and vulnerability with a smile. This should be our ritual, whether we are in a room with others (though seldom) or by ourselves.

After the hot and cold spas, we clothed ourselves in the oversized pink spa attire and made our way to the oxygen room and the hot rock rooms. My favorite was the salt room. This room is made of 350 million year old natural salt base rocks. Salt is a natural preservative and the heat and humidity from the sauna allows for the skin to be exposed the healing properties of the salt.

After one has had enough of the spas and saunas, there are movies to watch in the theater, food to be eaten at the restaurant (not completely authentic, but I hear it's close) and karaoke to be sung at the bar.

And for $18, you can do all of this for the next 24 hours. The perfect day spa.

The Art of Being Alone

I love this. It literally makes my heart sing and my eyes tear up. Love.