Honesty.

“Not only is honesty compatible with genuine kindness, it is the basis of kindness. False kindness pollutes. As long as you are not living in the truth, you cannot really communicate with others, you cannot have trust, you cannot relate. As long as you do not call the hard realities by name, you are living in the land of dreams. There is no room for you and me there, but only for harmful illusions. In as much as we lie, we live a life devoid of reality. And kindness cannot exist in a world of masks and phantoms.”

Today I am once again reminded of the power of honesty, as well as the power of dishonesty. They are both equally impactful but each one brings its own share of positive or negative. When I first read the phrase: “Honesty is the basis of kindness”, I had to sit and think about it for a while. I wondered if I had ever met a dishonest person who was genuinely kind. I’m almost sure I have but perhaps what I’ve really seen in someone like that is a perception of honesty, a false kindness. Maybe this masked kindness comes with a hidden agenda or selfish gain. I had never really thought of it that way before, but to be honest with ourselves first, we can in turn be honest with others a lot easier. I have always said that the basis of effective communication lies in honesty. Not only in the things that we aren’t saying (though we should), but also meaning the words we are saying.

One Step Closer.

“The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.”

My life is taking on a fun, new shape and I finally feel like I'm in a place that makes sense. I have just signed a new lease on my creative design space in Deep Ellum. One part excitement to two parts crazy, freaked out. But I know I'm doing the right thing, stepping my foot in the water and moving in the right direction. For the last year and a half, I have desperately needed a place where I can twist the lid off and let my creativity out. This place is MY space. My humble, 525 sq. ft space. I can write my name on it's wall if I want to. My space, with hardwood floors, once painted over in navy blue and two brand new windows to let the light drench the white walls. I imagine all of the hours I will spend here, creating, thinking, thriving.
I feel, in many ways, like a tree sprouting new branches; arms outstretched, aiming towards the sun.

We evolve at the rate of the tribe we are plugged into

Humans, by nature, are tribal. We surround ourselves in tribes of kindred souls. The more like minded people we are exposed to, the more we learn about who we are, grow and are inspired. My father used to say "If you want to soar with eagles, you can't peck with chickens". If we are curious about our life, what we want and what it is that maybe we aren't getting, it is possible to look at our surroundings, our friends and ask if these people inspire us, 'get' us or challenge us. What is it that we want to learn and are we surrounding ourselves with people who nurture that?

The Four Agreements

During our early life we began making agreements. Our parents rewarded us when we did what they wanted and they punished us when we didn’t. We also learned behaviors and habits in school, church, and from other adults and children on the playground. The tools of reward and punishment were often emotional and sometimes physical. The impact of other people’s opinions and reactions to us became a very strong force in the habits we created. In this process we created agreements in our mind of who we should be, what we shouldn’t be, who we were, and who we were not. Over time we learned to live our life based on the agreements in our own mind. We learned to live according to the agreements that came from the opinion of others. In this process of domestication it turns out that the choices we make and the life we live is more driven by the opinions we learned from others than one we would choose on our own.


The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.


As you begin living these four practices, your life will dramatically change. In the beginning these new habits will be challenging and you will lapse countless times. With practice these agreements become integrated into your being and every area of your life and become easy habits to keep.

Insomnia creeps in

Here lately, my nights have seemed to get longer, my eyes a little redder the next day. I’m not sure if it’s the deep repose of my former life or me feeling anxious for the things to come. I am unable to sleep and the sleep I do get consists of these recurring, epic dreams of heartbreak and loss. I wake up feeling as though I drank a whole bottle of wine the night before. Truth is, I’d be doing good to just be able to finish a whole glass with dinner. I miss eating good, hearty meals and laughing at a dinner table. I miss latin music and balmy summer nights. And I especially miss my fellow insomniac friend on nights (mornings) like this. When I went through these cycles, he was always up, just like me, to answer the phone and talk to until I got tired enough to fall asleep. He passed away two years ago in June. Now, on nights such as these, I am alone with just the quiet. And while that isn’t so bad most of the time because I can actually hear myself think, I lament the frequency of these quiet, lonely nights and wish for a time when I will at least have an option.
I desperately feel the need to travel now more than ever. I don’t know if it’s something I’m looking for so much as it is something I’m listening for. Maybe I just want to be alone with myself, to find comfort in the friend and voice inside of me, the one that knows me better than anyone, even as much as my insomniac friend who is no longer here to break the silence, to talk nonsense with me, encourage me until I feel peaceful enough to fall asleep.